Duryan's 405 Perfidious Perfumes

About Duryan the Gardener 

Duryan was an adventuring wizard before finding his true passion in gardening. Now, he has no interest in discussing spell-lore, having patience only for the language of plants. His garden is filled with flowers of shifting hues, trees bearing strange fruit, and grasses that seem to move with intelligence.

Of course, there are things he wants from you to make his garden even greater. For example: go find a black lotus from a place with a strong presence of death, then take the flower to a druid to have its necrotic energy neutralized, so that Duryan can safely plant it. When you complete any such task for Duryan, he will present you with a new perfume distilled from the good things from his garden. 

Random Perfume Tables

Duryan produces only 1d4 doses of perfume each time. Each perfume has unique properties when applied to a subject’s skin, but the properties’ nature can only be discovered through experimentation.

When a perfume is first applied, the referee rolls for a random duration, effect and name for the new scent.
 

d6	Perfume Duration
1-2	6+2d6 hours
3-4	1d6 days
5-6	2d6 days

d10	Perfume Effect
1-5	Potent Pheromone
6	Awful Allergy
7	Signature Scent
8	Magiphobic Coating
9	Flammable Fumes
10	Utter Ecstasy

Potent Pheromone: Roll twice on the creature type table. The first creature type is enamored by the scent; the second is revolted. Treat reaction rolls with enamored creatures as an automatic result of 12 (enthusiastically friendly), and with revolted creatures as an automatic result of 1 (hostile, non-civilized creatures immediately attack and civilized creatures treat you as if you just loudly soiled yourself in front of them).

If the same creature type is rolled twice, then the scent is physically harmful to that creature: people will suffer violent nosebleeds and run away in terror, undead are destroyed or dispelled, etc. If the subject to which the perfume is applied happens to be on that type, then it’s bound to be bad: they take one die of damage per round until the perfume is washed off.

d20	Creature type
1	Human males
2	Human females
3	Dwarves
4	Elves
5	Halflings
6	Goblinoids
7	Orcs and trolls
8	Kobolds and lizardfolk
9	Lizards and snakes
10	Dogs, wolves, werewolves, bears, badgers, etc.
11	Cats, tigers, weretigers, hyenas, gnolls, mongooses, etc.
12	Rodents and monkeys
13	Horses, donkeys, camels, deer, etc.
14	Birds
15	Dragons, hydra, wyverns, etc.
16	Insects and spiders
17	Fish, amphibians, toadmen, etc.
18	Corporeal undead
19	Spectral undead and elementals
20	Oozes and octopi

Awful Allergy: The perfumed skin begins to redden and itch distractingly, increasing odds of the subject being surprised by 1 in 6 and giving a penalty of -1 in 6 to picking locks. Intermittent sneezing gives a -1 in 6 penalty to Stealth. The swelling grows for the duration, until at the end of it, the bulb of skin harmlessly falls off. It animates as a skin tag golem (stats as a homunculus) that cannot speak but obeys its “progenitor”. The golem lives for 1d6 days.

Signature Scent: All who meet the subject become keenly aware of the shortest path to the subject and can track them unerringly until the end of the duration.

Magiphobic Coating: The subject has +2 to saving throws against magical effects and becomes invisible to elves and fey creatures.

Flammable Fumes: The subject becomes harder to hit, gaining +2 AC. The subject automatically fails saving throws against fire. The next time they take fire damage, the damage is doubled, and the effect then ends.

Utter Ecstasy: The subject experiences infinite pleasure in every moment of existence. No discomfort or mishap can unsettle them. The subject becomes immune to fear, charm, and possession, cannot be surprised, and gains +50% bonus experience. The effect spreads to anyone who touches their lips to the subject. At the end of the duration, the subject and all others affected crash down to reality, which now feels to them as infinite pain. They take 1 die of permanent damage each exploration turn, until they either stop the pain by applying more perfume, or the anguish kills them.

d20	Perfume name prefix	d20	Perfume name suffix
1	Manticore Orchid...	1	...Water
2	Imperial Dragon...	2	...Musk
3	Red-Blooded Rose...	3	...Rain
4	Lemon-Scented Sticky...	4	...Pearl
5	Prismatic Bloom...	5	...Elixir
6	Divine Aloe...	6	...Heaven
7	Cardamom Kiss...	7	...Eternity
8	Tepid Dill...	8	...Allure
9	Midnight...	9	...Fantasy
10	Shimmering...	10	...Sweetness
11	Unforgivable…	11	...Sparkle
12	Uninhibited...	12	...Potency
13	Seduction of...	13	...Heat Ultimate
14	True Heart’s...	14	...Gold Rush
15	Barbarian Thew...	15	...Juice
16	Princess Chamber...	16	...Fire Breath
17	Killer Queen’s...	17	...Sin
18	Romantic Rogue’s...	18	...Love Dew
19	Morgankaiden’s Mature...	19	...Flirtation
20	Lich Prince’s Everlasting...	20	...No. 9

Sample Perfumes

Here are a few sample perfumes to get you started.

Barbarian Thew Gold Rush: For 4 days, a fume haze makes you harder to hit, granting +2 AC. You automatically fail your next saving throw against fire. The next time you take fire damage, the damage is doubled, and the effect then ends.

Morgankaiden’s Mature Fantasy: For 12 hours, you have a powerful pheromonal scent. Wolves, dogs, bears, and related creatures such as lycanthropes thereof, are enamored with you. At the same time, corporeal undead such as zombies and vampires are revolted by you, seeking out to harm you specifically and unrelentingly.

Lich Prince’s Everlasting Potency: For 10 hours, all who meet you become keenly aware of the shortest path to you and can track you unerringly.

Uninhibited Sweetness: For 4 days, you have a powerful pheromonal scent. Cats, tigers, hyenas, mongooses, and related creatures such as weretigers and gnolls are enamored with you. At the same time, human males are revolted by you and seek out to harm you, whether socially or in combat.

Cardamom Kiss Sin: For 10 hours, your presence is physically painful to corporeal undead such as zombies and vampires. They will attempt to flee, and if that is impossible, will begin to take 1 die of damage per round until destroyed. If you are a vampire yourself, you will also take 1 die of damage per per round. The effects end if the perfume is washed off.

Adventure Site: Lumber Hulk Loggers

Here's a small adventure site/scenario. Plop it onto your hex key on the edge of a forest or something.

[ Click here for a PDF version that nicely fits on two pages. ]

There's a big mechanical contraption. Usually I hate stuff that forces too many assumptions about technological levels on your setting, but what can I say, when inspiration strikes, you follow it.

There should always be consequences for players' actions - this scenario teaches them that indirectly, as the villains are a dark mirror of the players, adventurers turned murderhobo with human consequences.

Conversion notes

AC is ascending, with unarmored AC at 11. To convert to Swords & Wizardry ascending AC, deduct 1 from all AC and to-hit values. To convert to Lamentations of the Flame Princess, add 1 to all AC values. To convert to B/X descending AC, subtract all AC values from 20.

Gold standard. MV refers to full movement rate, so divide it by three to find regular combat movement speed. Skills (Climb, etc.) are assumed to be as per LotFP (from 1 to 6). If you don't use skills, replace Architecture/Tinker with Intelligence modifier and a +2 bonus for Dwarves.

Lumber Hulk Loggers

Rumour: A trio of bandit bosses has taken over the village of Ashton and is extorting it for all profits from the village’s lumber production. Apparently, the group was an adventuring party hired to retrieve “the Lumber Hulk”, the village’s ancient and poorly-understood dwarven tree-cutting contraption, from the forest after it was overrun by twig monsters. However, the adventurers stole the contraption for themselves and used it as a weapon to hold the village hostage. With their plundered wealth, they’ve hired callous mercenaries to watch over the enslaved villagers. One of the villagers managed to escape and is promising Ashton’s gratitude to whoever can rid them of the evildoers.

Village: Ashton is divided into the main village and the lumber camp, a few hundred feet apart. At any time, the village proper houses 40 able-bodied men and women, watched over by 8 cold-hearted mercenaries. Most of the mercenaries man small watch-towers hastily built from wooden planks. Two ex-adventurer bosses will be lounging about the village, usually Ogden and Selby. All wealth in the village has been gathered up by the bandits. One or two houses are crushed remains. Loud rumbling and buzzing emanates from the adjacent forest. If the villagers see the player characters approach, they will stare with uncertain expressions on fatigued faces, as the party might well be nothing but fresh mercenaries.

Camp: At any time, 20 able-bodied villagers are working in the lumber camp, sawing up wood that is being cut down by the dwarven contraption. One of the three ex-adventurers operates the Lumber Hulk - usually Yavor, the dwarf. 6 mercenaries keep watch on small wooden watch-towers. It is hard to hear anything here due to the noise from the machine.

Villagers (60): HD 1-1, AC 11, MV 120’, ML 7, Atk (+0) axe d6 or improvised weapon d4.

Mercenary (14): HD 1, AC 13 (leather), MV 90’, ML 8, Atk (+1) spear or bow d6. 1d6 gp.

Yavor Scarscalp, Dwarf 3: HD 3d8, AC 15 (mail), MV 60’, Atk (+2) battleaxe d8. Yavor understands the Hulk the best. If an enemy takes control of it, he will attempt to climb on its back and remove the crystal (see ‘power slot’). Pouch containing gems x 5 of total value 1200 gp (topaz 500 gp, tourmaline 500 gp, carnelian 100 gp, obsidian 50gp, blue quartz 50 gp).

Ogden, Cleric 3: HD 3d6, AC 15 (mail), MV 90’, Atk (+1) mace d8. Ogden has lost the favour of his god due to his evil deeds, but does not know it and will not find out until he attempts to cast cure light wounds and the spell fails. 1150 gp, holy symbol worth 50 gp. Slaying Ogden and returning the holy symbol to a temple will result in a blessing.

Selby, Magic-User 2: HD 2d4, AC 11 (robes), MV 120’, Atk (+1) staff d4, spells: charm person, hold portal. It was Selby’s idea to turn the Hulk on the villagers; they despise him the most. Leather case with 90 pp, potion of detect magic.

The Lumber Hulk: Hull points 5 (any hit deals 1 hull point of damage for every 10 points of regular hit point damage), AC 16, MV 60’, Atk sawblade 3d6 or claw 1d6 + grapple.

The Hulk is a metal box the size of a shed with two mechanical arms, on four wooden wagon wheels, topped by a cockpit with a complex set of levers used to control the Hulk (see ‘controls’). There is an opening in front of the box that acts as an inlet for logs, and an outlet in the rear. On the back of the box above the lumber outlet is a hatch (see ‘power slot’). If the Hulk loses all its hull points, it can no longer move, though it can still attack.

Combat: The circular sawblade arm is used to cut down trees while the claw arm holds on to the trunk. The log is then inserted by the claw into the opening in the centre of the Hulk. Spinning wheels on the inside pass it through while blades cut it lengthwise.

The Hulk uses the operator’s Tinker or Architecture skill as its attack bonus (i.e. +1 to +6). A character that is hit with the claw must save vs. Paralysis or be grappled. As an attack on a subsequent round, the claw can insert the grappled character into the blades. A successful save vs. Death allows escape, but otherwise the outcome is death.

If the Hulk drives into a creature, it must save vs. Paralysis or be crushed by the wheels and take 2d8 damage. Driving into a wooden building will likely destroy it.

The cockpit’s cover grants +4 AC against ranged attacks. Reaching melee range under stress requires a Climb check at +2, but melee attacks against a busy operator are surprise attacks.

Controls: The first time a character operates the Hulk, and once per turn during challenging situations such as combat, a Tinker or Architecture skill check is required. On a failure, the operator loses control of the contraption, which starts at full speed in a random direction for d6 rounds, after which another attempt to regain control can be made.

Power slot: In the back of the Lumber Hulk is a metal hatch with the Dwarven text “EMERGENCY SHUT-OFF” painted in red. The hatch is easily opened by hand to reveal the glowing moonstone crystal powering the contraption. Removing the crystal under stress requires an Open Doors or Tinker check. Shattering it with a hammer or similar automatically succeeds, while an improvised blunt tool such as a sword pommel or axe butt requires an attack roll against AC 15. Edged weapons are ineffective. When the crystal is either destroyed or removed, the Hulk becomes inactive (no movement or attacks). The crystal is worth 3000 gp whole, or 300 gp if shattered.